· Crystal Clear Pepsi
It was a sign of the times; a clear drink to signify purity and infer improved health. Market tested in 1992 and officially released in all its glory in 1993, Crystal Clear Pepsi was backed with Van Halen theme songs and prime-time Superbowl advertising but lacked anything amazingly different in the taste department. Considering the flavor was simply more of the same (but now lacking caffeine), the people wanted their trusted brown Pepsi Cola returned in one piece – they got it.
· McRib Sandwich
It’s no wonder that this item hasn’t found a steady place in the world; coming and going like an apparition since 1981. Though it had all the makings of a sure-fire success (a boneless pork patty shaped to look like it has bones, barbecue sauce, onions and pickles served on a six-inch roll), after testing well in Nebraska and other mid-west states, it was obvious that the world wasn’t ready for this fabricated rib-based delight...even if from time to time we have odd (Pavlovian-related?) cravings for them...
· Funky Fries
Approaching the ranks of a Fact, Americans love French fries. Ore-Ida decided we liked them enough to party with them by introducing Funky Fries; chocolate, cinnamon and blue-colored French fries – it only made sense. They ran the bold new product with the highest of expectations and a swarm of satisfied customers was never the case. The Funky Fries were honorably retired in 2003; the day the music died.

· Lifesaver Soda
Lifesaver candies were invented in 1912 and it took a full 80 years to realize the complete vision – a liquid version of the popular hard candy. Introduced in the same five flavors as the original roll, the product scored well in preliminary taste tests but quickly went flat once it hit shelves. Whether it was the multi-colored cylindrical packaging (reminiscent of the original rolls) or the toxic amounts of sugar mixed with water, consumers were ultimately turned off by the concept of drinking their candy.
· Candy Cigarettes
Honesty, integrity and chain smoking are the flagship lessons of any well-rounded upbringing and such lessons have been taught since the 19th century with these props. Whether it is in the form of chalky sugar, bubblegum or chocolate, kids have long imitated the Marlboro man and gotten their sugar fix in the form of candy cigs. Always controversial, but never banned, candy cigarettes can still be found....re-branded as "candy sticks."
· Coors Rocky Mountain Sparkling Water
“The World’s Most Refreshing Beer” has been brewing with Rocky Mountain spring water since 1873. Over 100 years later, Coors branched out from brew and paid tribute to the quality H2O by releasing a sparkling water in original, lemon-lime and cherry flavors. Since the Coors logo remained proudly front-and-center, it wasn’t worth the risk of being caught behind the wheel in the name of hydration. Sales reflected the concern and Coors decided to stick to their strengths by continuing to distribute the mountain water (only when mixed with hops and barley).
· Circus Peanuts Candy
Off the top of your head, name one person that eats the Circus Peanuts candy – you can’t. Typically sold in generic white bags at Middle-American truck stops, these chalky banana clusters of orange sugar must know someone of substantial rank to remain on shelves today. It’s likely that the bags still in circulation are from the original 1800s batch and our grandparents are slowly plucking them one-by-one.
· Celery Jello
Somewhere in the 1960s the folks at Jello decided to go green and introduce a series of vegetable gelatins that were schemed to go well with salads. Italian Salad, Mixed Vegetable and Seasoned Tomato were the most accepted of the four but Celery played the lone anchor. Whether it surprises you or not, the flavors flopped and were soon yanked from circulation never to be seen again – by popular demand, it appears this 80 calorie treat will stay gone.
· Bigg Mixx Cereal
If you swept the floors of a 1990 Kellogg’s cereal factory and gathered up all the leftover scraps, you’d have the Bigg Mixx cereal – a fine collection of Kellogg brand All-Stars that found themselves branded together in a bowl of bastards and represented by a chicken-wolf-moose-pig mascot. It seemed a demand at the time but customer response didn’t support the Bigg Mixx or the playful mascot. Kellogg’s took the hint and soon pulled the oversized mix that was simply ahead of its time .
· Gerber Singles
Baby food crossed demographics in 1974 when Gerber, infamous for their baby foods, released a pureed single-serving meal in a jar for the adults. Aside from larger quantities, the basic ingredients and packaging remained close to the original baby formula and caused much confusion and resistance amongst an older audience. Though everyone has snuck their taste and can admit that baby food isn’t all bad, consumers agreed that mass quantities of pureed veggies should be reserved for infancy.

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